I have also noticed that you are not allowed to whine about disability, and if you whine, people assume that you don't really have said disability, you're just faking it. This is especially true for invisible things, like fibromyalgia, depression, or asthma. And I am, as I am sure all my friends know, an inveterate whiner. I whine about a lot of things. It makes me feel better. I whine about cleaning up cat vomit, I whine about hating to do my PT exercises, I whine about cleaning the bathroom, I whine ... well, a lot of things. But not about my asthma. And not about my depression. Neither have been particularly debilitating, of late, but when they are...I really can't whine about them. And removing that pressure relief valve is not helpful. Not at all.
I think the link between sexual harassment and disability is interesting, and while I doubt the link is new, it is to me. In both cases, there's a way in which other people feel that they have rights to make decisions and judgments about other people's bodies. A way in which bodies and their manifestations in the world are considered property of the viewer.
There was a night at work, where an older, heavier woman threw off her bedclothes during the night. Perfectly normal thing to do. Her nightgown had ridden up a bit, so she was a bit exposed. Not actually indecent, and the picture quality is enough to determine body position, but it's not real crisp. There is, quite honestly, nothing to see here. Just a quick note that the patient is now supine. Except...my creepy, possibly psychopathic co-worker said, "Man, I don't want to see that." As if, somehow, a person who was asleep, and in no way there for his pleasure, was somehow intruding upon him by being female, heavy, and having bare legs. It was this gross and entitled view of a woman's body that I hadn't seen on display before. This is the same man who sometimes makes fun of disabled people, and generally considers disabled people to be a particular burden. Weirdly, this same horrible person is incredibly socially ept, and his patients love him. He's personable, funny, charismatic, and appears genuinely interested in them.
People are fucking weird, man.
I am still working on how to better treat people with disabilities. There are fewer good models out there than you might prefer, you know? I have been trying to listen, as well as practice empathy. Where I get it wrong, most of my friends have been generous with telling me I got it wrong. But I still hurt people I in no way want to hurt. Societal structure make it so easy to do the wrong thing, and then fail to notice it.
no subject
I think the link between sexual harassment and disability is interesting, and while I doubt the link is new, it is to me. In both cases, there's a way in which other people feel that they have rights to make decisions and judgments about other people's bodies. A way in which bodies and their manifestations in the world are considered property of the viewer.
There was a night at work, where an older, heavier woman threw off her bedclothes during the night. Perfectly normal thing to do. Her nightgown had ridden up a bit, so she was a bit exposed. Not actually indecent, and the picture quality is enough to determine body position, but it's not real crisp. There is, quite honestly, nothing to see here. Just a quick note that the patient is now supine. Except...my creepy, possibly psychopathic co-worker said, "Man, I don't want to see that." As if, somehow, a person who was asleep, and in no way there for his pleasure, was somehow intruding upon him by being female, heavy, and having bare legs. It was this gross and entitled view of a woman's body that I hadn't seen on display before. This is the same man who sometimes makes fun of disabled people, and generally considers disabled people to be a particular burden. Weirdly, this same horrible person is incredibly socially ept, and his patients love him. He's personable, funny, charismatic, and appears genuinely interested in them.
People are fucking weird, man.
I am still working on how to better treat people with disabilities. There are fewer good models out there than you might prefer, you know? I have been trying to listen, as well as practice empathy. Where I get it wrong, most of my friends have been generous with telling me I got it wrong. But I still hurt people I in no way want to hurt. Societal structure make it so easy to do the wrong thing, and then fail to notice it.