The Other Things I Wish I Could Tell My Patients

 16.  Please don't be embarrassed.  I have no interested in making judgments about your sleep habits, your weight, your appearance, or anything else.  I absolutely understand that life is complicated, people are weird, and you are unique.  When I ask for certain things, this isn't so I can make value judgments, it's so I can ensure a good study.  Please tell me the truth, I will not shame you, and there is no reason to lie.  

17. I'm a medical professional, and everybody has a bladder.  It's fine.  Really.  I do not mind in the least, and please don't make yourself uncomfortable.  I will cheerfully unhook you eighteen times tonight, if that's what you need.  I will never, ever shame you about this.