Dear Nate (open letter)
Oct. 27th, 2013 02:42 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
lydySince you don't have access to the nate_bucklin LJ while with Louie, and I have no idea if you can receive email, and Louie is likely to delete anything I post in markiv1111, I will post what I said on the nate_bucklin lj here in hopes that you see it:
"Nate, I think you misunderstood what I said. I told you I was very angry. This is true. However, when you asked me if I wanted you not to call me again, what I said was, "I don't know what I want." This does not mean I want nothing to do with you. It means that at the moment, I am still working on how I feel about the situation, and have not yet decided what level of contact I am comfortable with. However, I stand by what I have previously said. I will always be your friend. At the moment, I'm still working on how to do that without getting badly hurt."
Having been doing some thinking, I will clarify just a bit. I am most certainly still speaking to you. I am happy to receive phone calls from you, or talk to you in person. I am concerned that any contact that we have will provide proximate cause for Louie to be abusive towards you or towards me. I do not hold you responsible for Louie's behavior. However, I am concerned because of past experience.
As for being angry, the biggest reason I am angry is because it appears to me that you get into states where you think that the only people whose emotions have any meaning are yours and Louie's. You seem to treat other people as props and counters, sometimes. And when you do this, I become angry, on my own behalf and on the behalf of other people I love whom I perceive as you mistreating. This does not seem to be your base state, but it does seem to be something you do from time to time, and when you do this, it upsets me.
All my best wishes.
P.S. Pamela said in your nate_bucklin LJ that she is speaking to you, but isn't available until Monday.
"Nate, I think you misunderstood what I said. I told you I was very angry. This is true. However, when you asked me if I wanted you not to call me again, what I said was, "I don't know what I want." This does not mean I want nothing to do with you. It means that at the moment, I am still working on how I feel about the situation, and have not yet decided what level of contact I am comfortable with. However, I stand by what I have previously said. I will always be your friend. At the moment, I'm still working on how to do that without getting badly hurt."
Having been doing some thinking, I will clarify just a bit. I am most certainly still speaking to you. I am happy to receive phone calls from you, or talk to you in person. I am concerned that any contact that we have will provide proximate cause for Louie to be abusive towards you or towards me. I do not hold you responsible for Louie's behavior. However, I am concerned because of past experience.
As for being angry, the biggest reason I am angry is because it appears to me that you get into states where you think that the only people whose emotions have any meaning are yours and Louie's. You seem to treat other people as props and counters, sometimes. And when you do this, I become angry, on my own behalf and on the behalf of other people I love whom I perceive as you mistreating. This does not seem to be your base state, but it does seem to be something you do from time to time, and when you do this, it upsets me.
All my best wishes.
P.S. Pamela said in your nate_bucklin LJ that she is speaking to you, but isn't available until Monday.
