Conversations with myself

Me: Go to sleep. Really, please.

Me: But I got a shiny new phone. NEW PHONE!

Me: Yes, which you have had for hours. And you have activated it. And you have played with it. And you have loaded the "Dumb Ways to Die" game on it and played that, too. Now go to sleep.

Me: Did you not hear me? NEW PHONE!

Me: Yes, yes, new phone. I get that. But it's bloody well six in the morning, and you have to be at a Board meeting at two, which is like, eight hours from now, and you're not even playing with the damn thing at the moment, you're on your computer reading File770 obsessively. Go the Fuck to Sleep!

Me: You don't get it, do you. NEW PHONE! Phone! Which is New! Also, sleep is for wimps.

Me: Look, you are leaving for NYC next Thursday, you have a million chores to accomplish before you go to work Tuesday night, you have several social engagements, a board meeting, and you need to sleep. RIGHT NOW.

Me: You're just not getting it, are you? I have a PHONE. Which is NEW. And also, I don't want to sleep, and if you wanted me to sleep, why did you make me coffee?

Me: Oh, for pity's sake. That coffee was eight hours ago. You can't blame me for that, now.

Me: Oh, ok. Not the coffee, then. NEW PHONE.

Me: Go To Sleep, or I'll take your phone away.

Me: You and what army?

Me: Fine, I'm just gonna go tell all of LJ what a pain you're being.

Me: They won't care. They'll all want to see my NEW PHONE!