The cradle will fall

[lydy]

It's been a perfectly marvelous day. It started with getting up at noon. I mean, I'm delighted, I actually got out of bed and got dressed. The previous two days I've slept until six or so, and then was up until 4:00 a.m. My body so wants to be on third shift. This isn't new, I've been a night person ever since I was little. My mother used to have to dress me like I was a rag doll before school, I was so heavily asleep.

In a wild and frightening burst of energy, I sat down and did the bills. Maybe it's easier if you have not money. I called all my credit card companies and explained that I was flat broke (I do have $30 in my checking account) and that I couldn't pay them anything. One of them said that there wasn't anything they could do at this time, another said that they couldn't do anything until I acquired an income, but that they'd be happy to set up a payment plan then, and the third said that they'd waive one month's payment. A month of grace isn't huge, but it's something. Of course, no one mentioned that my interest rate is going to go to 33% or so, but I was the one coming begging, so it didn't seem to be the time to complain about it.

While I was on a roll, I went ahead and e-filed my taxes. My taxes aren't hard, I have to fill out like six lines or something on the EZ, so it really didn't take very long, and the state taxes even less because they can roll over the information. And I'm so poor it's freee. In between state and federal, I'll get something like $1000, which is good since the bill for my medical insurance is $600, I still have the hospital co-pay of $200 coming up, and my monthly drugs cost $120. Per month. You wonder why crazy people live on the streets? That's why. I have extremely good coverage -- and will, until I run out of COBRA, or run out of people to borrow money from. Or, of course, go back to work. I'm hoping to be able to do that soon. Anybody know of a third shift admin support job? Like, hospital receptionist? At this point, I'm totally not picky.

Then, I went over to carbonel to watch ice skating. Tonight, we watched (thanks to her Tivo equivalent) the Four Continents competition, Women's singles, and Ice Dancing. Last night we watched Men's Singles and Pairs. What have I forgotten, Beth? I still can't tell one jump from another, other than the axel, but I'm seeing more and more. I find it frustrating, but I'll train my eyes eventually. I hope.

Now I'm home, I've et dinner, emptied the dishwasher, and am typing cheerfully like a maniac.

So, here's the $64 question: Am I manic, or is this how I'm supposed to feel? I switched anti-depressants recently, and now is about the time that they might be coming on, so it could just be the right anti-depressant. Or, I could just be manic, in which case, expect to see me huddled in bed for a week some time real soon.

I do love the highs of being manic, but I totally resent the fact that my manic high is roughly equivalent to normal people's normal function.

It would be so nice if this were something that was going to stick around. I shall cross my fingers. Well, no I won't. I can't type that way.

Comments

[lydy.livejournal.com]

I agree with you on not knowing what normal is. It's not like I ever had much more than a nodding acquaintanceship with it in the far distant past. What I'd like (obviously) is a steady state in which laundry is not an insurmountable task (never mind the rest of life, such as sweeping floors, going to work, talking to friends, leaving the house, and so on. Seems to me your own relationship with normal is less than close and cordial. I suspect it's vastly overrated.