Bad news

[lydy]

Two bad things happened to me on Thursday. The first was a car crash. I tried to take a left hand turn against oncoming traffic that I did not see. I smushed the car kinda good, and the airbags popped out. I may have totalled the car. I did a really bad number on the other guy's car. His entire front end got shattered, and there were fluids leaking. No one got hurt, which is a blessing. This is bad on a number of fronts. Just killing the car is bad enough, but David had gone to a certain amount of trouble so that we would be a two car family so that I could get to clinicals next semester. They're unlikely to be busable. Now we may be a one car family again. This also affects Pamela and Eric, who use the car for errands and to go on hikes and so on. It's a really big deal. I've never wanted to take something back so much in my life.

The second bad thing was that I flunked clinicals. I've been misplacing electrodes. I am no good at talking to the patient. I really question whether I can do this job or not. I'm to stay on evenings, instead of going to nights, and try harder. I've been having trouble finding the inion, which is where the skull bumps out, not the notch where the spinal cord goes in. I've also had a certain amount of trouble marking my measurements correctly. I used to be good at this. I don't know what's wrong.

So, I'm pretty disconsolate.

Comments

[sraun]

Ouch! Condolences - I hope things get better. If you make it to the Minn-StF Meeting today, I'll offer a hug!

[dreamshark.livejournal.com]

I don't know which is worse when it comes to car accidents - being at fault or not being at fault. If it really is your fault you are burdened with guilt and "what-ifs," which sucks (I have also been hit a couple of times making careless left turns, so I understand that one). On the other hand, when things like that happen to you out of the blue for no reason at all it kind of shakes your faith in the universe. You start expecting anvils to fall out of the sky and hit you. Either way, very traumatic. I'm so sorry.

[mrissa.livejournal.com]

We're thinking of you here. Hang in there. Let us know if there's anything anybody in my house can do. We will even be practice heads if you want more practice heads in a non-pressure situation.

[marykaykare.livejournal.com]

So sorry Lydy. I'm having my own problems just now (meds not working!) so all I can do is offer a long-distance hug, but I do offer that.

MKK

[carbonel]

Ouch, indeed. I'm glad that no one was hurt, but this sucks bigtime.

The second item is probably a matter of practice, though, and is something that can be worked on. I hope, anyway.

The Do-Over

[lsanderson.livejournal.com]

Hope it goes well with the insurance company and you feel better. They're called accidents for a reason.

[guppiecat]

When I had my accident (sadly, people were hurt in that one, some of us permanently), I remember that I kept trying to force my eyes open to wake up from what was clearly a nightmare. (It didn't work.)

All I can say is that it will all eventually be OK. I'm sure that the car issue will be worked out, and that you'll figure out the clinicals. The thing to watch is to make sure that the car stress doesn't make the clinical work more difficult. Try to segment, if you can.

[nancymcc.livejournal.com]

I am bummed to hear that the bad fates have been ganging up on you.

I think of so many times when I've caught myself after a moment of inattentive driving and felt so glad that there just happened to be no [ oncoming traffic / pedestrian in that crosswalk / etc ]. It's human for you to feel ghastly now, but I hope that time and people's support ultimately bring you some perspective that cut the "fault" down to a more realistic size.

I also hope you can bring yourself to keep plugging at the clinicals. There may be aspects of it where you are one of the slow learners, but when you finally get it you can be as good as the rest. I'm a very slow kinetic learner, and although dancing is trivial by comparison to what you're learning, it may be similar. When I learned to Morris dance, I was still struggling when the others had been competent for many weeks. It took me lots of further practice (more than the instructors had allowed for), but in the end I got to the same level as the others. Then I was proud of both the learning and the perseverence.

[buttonlass.livejournal.com]

Gah. I'm so sorry, this sounds horrible for you. I hope it improves on some front soon.

[kalmn.livejournal.com]

bleh.

*hug*

[pir-anha.livejournal.com]

*ack*! i am glad nobody was hurt; that's always my main feeling about accidents -- otherwise, well, they're accidents, something that happens suddenly or by chance without an apparent cause. life is full of them; i consider myself lucky if i meet with relatively few.

human bodies are complicated. i remember when i went from dolls to actual bodies, and man, nothing is in the right place! and it takes time for fingers to learn, and working against that was the mostly unconscious fact that i was touching strangers, and didn't want this to be icky or interminable for them, and that very shyness then of course screwed things up even more. and i had several bumps there, where i got worse before i got better. it was frustrating.

can you practice more on friends, maybe? where you can slow things down and maybe figure out why you're less good at this now?

sorry you're having such a miserable time of it at the moment.

[minnehaha.livejournal.com]

Perhaps there were other times when you had to strike up conversations with total strangers that you can rely on here, she said cheerfully.

I am sorry about the car. Best luck on a good outcome with that.

K.

disconsolate

[eileenlufkin.livejournal.com]

I'm very glad no one was hurt. I'm sorry you're having trouble with your class. I would be glad to help you practice on my head.

[fgherman.livejournal.com]

I'm so sorry about the accident - I know how traumatic it can be.

Keep plugging at the clinicals - it's just a matter of finding a mnemonic that works for you.

[pameladean]

I'm just glad nobody got hurt.

The clinicals sound horrible, but at least they aren't giving up on you. You just need more time, I bet. People are shaped very oddly and not at all alike, on the whole, so it really is a difficult problem.

If it were me I might check on whether meds were doing something they shouldn't.

P.

[careswen.livejournal.com]

My sympathies for the stressful stuff. Good luck with the do-overs.

So sorry--hugs for all

[(Anonymous)]

Oh, honey, accidents are so horrible. But,as someone said on your comment page--it will eventually be o.k. But, again, as you have said in the past, "this too shall pass but it sure hurts while it's passing!"

As to your clinicals, my head and Al's head would be available for practicing on if we were closer. Hang in there, girl. You have the abilities to do so many things and this is one of them. Re your talking to people, we know how tough it is for you to be inane and just talke inconsequential stuff. You are not one to talk "small talk" but it's a talent you can learn. Just think, "weather, positive comments re hair or smile, or food preferences or general fun stuff." Or, maybe that's not what you are supposed to say???

Lots of love and hugs, Mom